Opening soon in Melbourne. We're not taking clients yet. Leave your details and we'll contact you when we open. Need help today? My Aged Care: 1800 200 422.

Best Aged Care
Leave your details

The first 30 days in an aged care home

If you have just moved Mum or Dad in and it feels awful, you are not alone. Here is what settling in usually looks like, what to sort out in the first month, and how to tell when something is actually wrong.

What is normal in the first weeks in aged care, and when should we worry?

The first weeks are often the hardest: sadness, confusion and asking to go home are common, and usually ease as routines form. Red flags are different: unexplained injuries, weight loss, poor hygiene, medication problems, or staff who won't answer questions. Raise concerns with the home first, in writing. If that doesn't fix it, OPAN (1800 700 600) gives free, independent advocacy and the Aged Care Quality and Safety Commission (1800 951 822) takes complaints. In an emergency, call 000.

Usually part of settling in

  • Sadness, tears, or asking again and again to go home
  • Confusion in the new place, especially with dementia
  • Anger or blame aimed at you; it is the situation, not you
  • Eating or sleeping less for a little while
  • Wanting you there all the time at first, then needing you less as routines form

Red flags: act on these

  • Injuries, bruises or falls that nobody explains to you
  • Weight loss, signs of dehydration, or being left unwashed or in soiled clothes
  • Medication mistakes, or being much drowsier than before
  • Staff who dismiss your questions or discourage visits
  • A fast decline in health or mood that goes beyond settling in
  • Any sign of rough handling, threats or money going missing

Helping them settle

  • Make the room theirs: photos, a favourite chair or blanket, their own bedding, a clock and a calendar.
  • Tell the staff who they are: their routines, what they like to be called, foods they love and hate, what calms them. A one-page summary on the wardrobe door helps new staff too.
  • Visit at different times, not only when they are at their saddest, so you see ordinary days, mealtimes and evenings.
  • Get to know the people who care for them, by name. They are often the first to notice how things are going.
  • Ask when the care plan will be discussed with you, and go. Bring the GP's details, medication list and anything the assessment missed.
  • Look after yourself. Guilt and relief at the same time are normal. Carer Gateway (1800 422 737) offers support for carers, including counselling.

Money and paperwork in the first month

  • The fee advice letter. Services Australia's letter sets out the basic daily fee, any means-tested contribution and whether the person pays the room price or a contribution. Check the home's first invoice against it.
  • How to pay for the room. Until a lump sum is paid, the room is paid by daily payments. A lump sum can be paid any time after moving in, once the means assessment is finalised. How to pay is a financial decision; the Financial Information Service (132 300) can explain the options.
  • Optional extras. A higher everyday living fee can only be agreed after moving in. There is a 28-day cooling-off period with no cancellation fee.
  • Days away still cost. The basic daily fee applies for every day as a resident, including nights in hospital or away with family.
  • Report changes within 28 days. Selling a home, paying a lump sum or other changes to income and assets must be reported to Services Australia.
  • Legal papers. Give the home copies of any power of attorney or guardianship documents, and an advance care directive if there is one.

If something is wrong

  1. Tell the home. Speak to the nurse in charge or the manager, then put it in writing and keep a copy. Ask for a care plan review and a date to follow up.
  2. Get an advocate. The Older Persons Advocacy Network (OPAN) gives free, independent and confidential advocacy: 1800 700 600 (Monday to Friday 8am to 8pm, Saturday 10am to 4pm). In Victoria, its member is Elder Rights Australia ((03) 9602 3066).
  3. Make a complaint to the Commission. The Aged Care Quality and Safety Commission handles complaints about aged care homes: 1800 951 822 (Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm) or online.
  4. If you suspect abuse or neglect, the Elder Abuse Phone Line is 1800 353 374. If someone is in danger, call 000.

Under the Aged Care Act 2024, a Statement of Rights sets out what older people receiving government-funded aged care should expect, including making their own decisions about their own life, feeling safe and respected, and having their culture and identity respected. Homes must have systems for handling complaints, and must listen and respond when a concern is raised; a person has the right to complain without fear of punishment. Read about the rights, or ask OPAN to explain them.

If problems keep happening after all this, moving to another home is possible. See changing aged care homes.

Questions about the first weeks

My parent keeps asking to come home. Should we move them out?

Try not to decide in the first week or two if you can. Settling in is hard for almost everyone, and the first weeks are often the lowest point. Keep visiting, keep talking with the staff, and watch for the red flags on this page. If there are red flags, act on them straight away.

How do I tell normal settling in from a real problem?

Settling in is mostly emotional: sadness, confusion, wanting home, and it eases over weeks. Red flags are usually physical or about care: unexplained injuries, weight loss, poor hygiene, medication problems, heavy drowsiness, or staff who won't answer questions. Trust your instincts and raise anything that worries you.

Who do I call if something is wrong?

Start with the home, in writing, and ask for a care plan review. If that doesn't resolve it, the Older Persons Advocacy Network (OPAN) offers free, independent advocacy on 1800 700 600, and you can complain to the Aged Care Quality and Safety Commission on 1800 951 822. If you suspect abuse, the Elder Abuse Phone Line is 1800 353 374. In an emergency, call 000.

When do we have to decide how to pay for the room?

A home cannot ask you to choose before moving in. Until a lump sum is paid, the room is paid by daily payments; a lump sum, in full or in part, can be paid any time after the person has moved in and the means assessment is finalised.

Can we cancel optional extra services we signed up to?

Yes. A higher everyday living fee can only be agreed after moving in, and there is a 28-day cooling-off period in which it can be cancelled or changed with no cancellation fee. After that, it can be cancelled or changed with 28 days' notice.

Do we still pay fees when Mum is in hospital?

Yes. The basic daily fee applies for every day a person is a resident, including days away overnight, for example in hospital or on holiday.

Sources

Last reviewed October 2026. Fee figures are as at 20 September 2026 unless another date is shown next to them. General information only, not financial, legal or medical advice. We are not a government service. How we check our facts.

How it works Leave your details